Kindergarden
by Panda Food
Summary: Oh dear, what now Deidara? You want to kill Tobi? But what about Cloud and Kadaj in the sandbox? And Larxene wants to hurt Demyx! What is poor L too do?
1. Recess and the First Bell

L, kindergarten teacher, sat on a bench with his knees hugged to his chest, and a plate with strawberry short cake next to him. He nibbled on the cake and watched the children run around. Larxene was chasing Demyx around, threatening to cause him bodily harm to him for one his water clones who had hugged her. Tobi snickered as he covertly placed a bug on Sasori's sandwich while he was talking to Deidara. Sephiroth laughed as he watched Cloud push Kadaj into the sandbox. L sighed as he got up and began walking around.

L heard the cries of a distressed shinobi and began to look for the source. He saw Tobi running toward him yelling: "Waa! L Sensei! Sempai wants to kill Tobi!" Tobi ducked behind L in an effort to hide from Deidara. "Deidara, why do you want to kill Tobi?" L asked. "Because, he stepped on my bird, Un! A bird I had been working on for days, Un!" Sasori stepped out from behind Deidara. "And he put a bug on my sandwich. I don't eat bugs." L sighed. "Deidara, Sasori, you are not allowed to blow up and/or turn Tobi into a puppet." The blonde and redhead sighed and walked off. Tobi ran off after them so he could further irritate his sempai.

L walked off to find his 'friend' Light, teacher of First Grade. He suspected earlier that Light was Kira. But…now he was not so sure. He felt like they had become friends. He saw Light being followed by Reno and Rude, who were intent on causing the large read vein on top of his head to grow ever larger. Suddenly, L's knees buckled and he nearly fell down, had he not caught his balance. He looked down to see that Mello and Near had attached themselves to his legs. "Hey, L! Do you need any help today?" Mello asked. "Yes, L. Can we help you with anything?" Near asked. the dark haired man sighed. 'Why can't these two just leave me alone?' he asked himself. "Look you two: all I need you to do right now, is to go to school, and wait for me to die. Then, and only then, will I need you. So can you please get off of my legs?" the two would-be successors reluctantly surrendered L's legs to interrogate Misa Misa, who was shooing away Rude and Reno from her 'darling' Light.


	2. School Yard Brawls

The children sat in their desks, eyes straight forward. L stood in front of them, his 'name' was written on the board, if anyone forgot. Though is seemed physically impossible to forget the letter L. The front row was occupied by Pein, Konan, Deidara, Sasori, Kakuzu, Hidan, Tobi, Zetsu, Itachi, and Kisame. Well, more like the first row and a half. Cloud, Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo were off in their own little world, chatting away about their hero, Sephiroth, who was in Light Yagami's class across the hall. All in all, it was a small class.

--

Light was writing something on the board when he heard the tune of a cell phone ring through the air. He turned around and eyed Zack. The young boy's face was bright red. His friend Angeal was shaking his head in embarrassment. Zack reached inside his pocket and turned the phone off. "Heh heh...Sorry Yagami Sensei." He said. Genesis and Sephiroth were snickering amongst themselves. "Just, don't let it happen again" Light said. There were 19 children in Light's class. Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Leaxeus, Zexion, Saix, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, Roxas, Zack, Angeal, Genesis, and Sephiroth. The first thirteen were the least mature, and Light wished he could threaten them into submission with the Death Note. But for now, the floating apple that was eating itself was keeping them in awe, so they were quiet, but digressing. The only ones he didn't have to worry about were Near and Mello. Although they were aspiring to be L's successors, they were not smart enough yet to figure out that their teacher was Kira.

Light had a helper in class almost every day. most of his help only came when Light gave him a death glare but Near and Mello loved him. Well...Mello loved him. His name was Matt and whenever he was supposed to do something, he was playing a game on his Nintendo DS. Despite this useless helper, and the Shinigami Riuk that followed him around even to school, Light was glad that Misa Misa was not here.

--

It was Misa Amane's turn to monitor the cafeteria. The children were eternally grateful, as she was always swooning over someone like Roxas, so she never noticed anything. Rude and Reno were fighting with Yazoo and Loz about who was better: Rufus Shinra or Jenova. Yazoo and Loz were winning.

"How is your day going, Ryuzaki?" Light asked as he sat next to L in L's classroom to enjoy the lunch Misa had prepared for him. "Oh, splendid so far" the dark haired man answered, "No disruptions at all. You?"

"Ok, I guess, except...those thirteen in my class. And those nine in yours. You know, the ones that dress the same." L nodded. "I just get the feeling like they're up to something..."

--

Unfortunately, our friend Kira was right. The group that called themselves 'Akatsuki', and their older counterparts, 'Organization XIII' were always squabbling. Why, right now during their lunch they were arguing.

"You all know we're better," Pain said to Xemnas. Xemnas contradicted with a 'Nu'uh'. Pain contradicted that, and so on and so forth. Saix and Konan were eating their food and chatting. "Our superiors are weird, aren't they?" Saix asked. Konan nodded. "All they do is fight with each other. Just be glad yours doesn't stick pins in his face" the girl remarked. "I find it odd that we're considered number twos, and yet we aren't technically number twos." Saix commented. "It's the blue hair" Konan added. The blunetes laughed.

"You're so lucky you guys aren't paired with each other" Deidara said to Roxas. Neither were eating. Roxas had finished his apple, and Deidara had already fed his hand-mouths clay; which was how he was keeping his subordinate, Tobi, away. Atop the masked ninja sat a clay spider, ready to explode if Tobi made a single move. "Really?" Roxas asked, "wouldn't it make our jobs easier?" Deidara laughed. "Who do you think you'd be paired with?" he asked. A spiky haired pyro snuck up behind Roxas and proceded to squeeze the latter's mid section. "Oh" Roxas said as Deidara continued to laugh.

Marluxia was arguing over plant life with Zetsu (and appeared to be losing if you can believe that), while Sasori was telling Zexion about his favorite puppets. Zexion, however, was partial to the 'Muppets' (especially Ms. Piggy).

The argument between Xemnas and Pain was escalating to a boiling point. They had forgotten their words and had resolved to pushing. Xemnas shoved Pain into Konan by accident, who became upset. This unsettled Pain who in turn, shoved Xemnas into Demyx. Demyx, being easily upset, conjured a water ball and hurled it at Xemnas who ducked. The water smacked Konan in the face, wilting her paper flower that decorated her hair. The look on everyone's face must've frightened Tobi, for he cried out (forgetting about the clay spider), dashed over to Deidara, and Glomped him hard. Deidara freaked out.

The school erupted with the sound of the explosion. Deidara's hair was sticking strait up, and Tobi's mask was covered with soot. A grin had found its way to Deidara's face. "My art is Bang!"


End file.
